Jello and Pet Injustice (or maybe it was not my day for deep thinking?)

So I found this old email that I wrote to some friends and family one New Years' week when I was really sick, and it made me laugh... (I do, however, hope you will soon recover!)

Hi Everyone.

 

Well, being sick can really be quite a bore. Having a generous amount of brain energy but little to no physical stamina, I decided on one of my favourite pastimes: writing. As I pondered what to write about, tossing ideas to and fro in my mind, I stumbled upon one of culinary's great mysteries: Isn't the consumption of JELL-O gelatin desserts rather like eating solidified Kool-Aid?

Not that I've tried it myself, (solid Kool-Aid, that is,) but one can only imagine how similar they would be. (No wonder I don't like JELL-O!) But think about it for a moment: the sweetness, the colour, and the intrigue that both are produced from envelopes of tiny, crystallized...something-rather. They are even made by the same company! It's like a conspiracy. Hmmm...

Maybe I'll think of a different topic to write on.

Like pet injustice.

So my fish has been rather sad lately. Poor Mordecai. I think he is depressed because my dog, Jenni, got a stocking at Christmastime, but he didn't. Honestly, though, what do you put in a fish's stocking? I suppose some dried worms might have been nice, or maybe a fancy new treasure chest. But then, where would an appropriate place have been to hang a stocking for Mordecai? It would most certainly have to be a waterproof stocking if it contained dried food, or perhaps I could have tied it to the outside rim of his bowl...okay, maybe the idea wasn't that unreasonable after all. My word, I have insulted my fish!

But really, where does one draw the line with things like Christmas stockings? If I hung a stocking for Mordecai, then it would only seem fit to also hang one for each of our hens as well. And what, pray tell, does one put into the stocking of a chicken? (My, I would not make a very good St. Nick, would I?)

In all honesty, the stocking for the dog wasn't actually my idea. In fact, (and my sincere apologies to Jenni for what I am about to say,) ...a dog is simply that: a dog. (Thus, a fish is a fish, and a hen is just, well, a stupid chicken.) Perhaps I have insulted poor fishy, but; I hope he understands, it was most unintentionally done!

Okay, I think it's time to stop writing now, before I cause some poor soul more harm! I pray you will soon recover from my writing.

 

Kate