social media's loneliness phenomenon

Part of my training as a youth worker with Youth for Christ has involved and continues to include research on such topics as teenagers and social networking use, media, and technology. These subjects are of particular interest to me anyway; my ears always perk at other people's findings, discussions of statistics and impact on youth culture and development.

What I have come across, however, has pointed blankly to the fact that social networking through technology and the online world is affecting adults just as much as teenagers in today's western culture. For clarity, let me define "social networking" in this article as operated through technology: texting, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, Myspace, Google+, MSN, chat rooms and others, mostly online or through instant messaging.

Culture Shift... Over and over, I have been floored by the seeming connection between the cultural shift toward social networking use with loneliness... a side topic of which is the connection of loneliness with the rise of depression statistics and surprising age-to-maturity statistics in comparison with previous generations. At this point I should perhaps remind readers that I am currently writing this article in Blogger's post editor on my laptop; maybe even mention that I currently have an unlimited text plan on my cell. I don't mean to say that social media and technology is bad, but I do find the cultural shift to be rather alarming given some of the effects it majors in. I feel it is important not to sweep the matter under the virtual rug.

This evening I was thinking of someone with whom I haven't spoken recently. I wanted to talk to her, but rather than picking up the phone to give her a call as I would have fifteen or even just ten years ago, I instead picked up my cellphone thinking, I should text her to find out how she is doing. I stopped myself when I realized that my excuse of texting her - she might be busy right now and I don't want to disturb her - was actually motivated by - I'm kind of busy and I'd like to know how she is but only with a one-sentence answer. I'd like to know that she is okay, but I only want a snippet, a status update, a tweet. I want a little bit of information quickly so that my attention span isn't taxed. I have fallen prey to the instant-convenience mindset. How selfish am I.

Relationships are messy. And they take work. And that makes them beautiful.

This past weekend at Youth for Christ, we held our May Long Weekend camp at Riverbend in Courtenay. A friend of mine from my teenage YFC days came as our speaker. Brittany Lawrence was a solid communicator with the group, presenting the idea of being a people "Connected" both to God and to each other. As she unfolded her thoughts, she shared a clip from TED Talks by Sherry Turkle: Connected, But Alone? (click for link). I found Sherry's perspective very useful in understanding social media and its relationship to what I might call the loneliness phenomenon. We are so hungry for connection and belonging, yet we are surrounded by the paradox of isolation. If you have taken the time to read this far and are interested, Sherry's talk is well worth the 20 minutes it takes to watch.

Kingdom Shift... Since I left Facebook nearly a year ago, I've had the opportunity to share with the youth on multiple occasions how freeing it has been for me. (For more on this journey, road trip to Facebook Free, but Not Faceless and Facebook Free, Indeed.) This weekend, I shared with the teens the side of my decision that involved acknowledging my hunger to control my image of how others would see me: to edit, to rehearse, to airbrush statements, captions, photos. My decision required me to admit that my Facebook page had become about me, and while this could seem like an obvious statement given the purpose of a profile page, for me it held much more than that. In closing my account, I described my page using the phrase "my kingdom" because it had become a way to control how I would be seen... how I would be understood. In reality, I would need to become much more concerned about God's kingdom. About Jesus becoming greater in my eyes; my self becoming less, my identity being based in my understanding of who God is; where I belong being rooted in how I relate to my Creator and Father.

Those of you who have been reading my meandering thoughts for some time now (thanks Mum and R. Nadai) have heard about the impact leaving Facebook has had for me. I never imagined it would be this big but I'm slowly understanding more and more of why it has made such a difference.